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Oldstrain/Darren`s Winner of winners. 2012. | |
From Fed Topper to Master Chef | The N.E.H.U race from Melton Mowbray 21/4/2012 was won by Peel bros of South Shields, they took 1st club 1st fed, also taking 2nd and 4th club and 15 of the 25 birds clocked in the club......well done Peel brothers. |
| | Old folks. | |
| | Author | Message |
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halcanada Youngbird
Posts : 4206 Join date : 2014-03-11 Age : 84 Location : Southern Ontario. Canada.
| Subject: Old folks. Tue May 12, 2015 2:01 am | |
| RETIREMENT BONUS..........
If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hand to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my willie to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?'' The old Chief calmly replied, ''Vietnam''.
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| | | Knackered Oldbird
Posts : 14506 Join date : 2013-03-11
| Subject: Re: Old folks. Tue May 12, 2015 6:04 am | |
| - halcanada wrote:
- RETIREMENT BONUS..........
If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hand to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my willie to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?'' The old Chief calmly replied, ''Vietnam''.
I could believe the above for what I saw there etc. |
| | | killer Hatchling
Posts : 535 Join date : 2012-11-09 Location : Wollongog Australia
| Subject: Re: Old folks. Tue May 12, 2015 11:06 am | |
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| | | sjrw Hatchling
Posts : 393 Join date : 2012-11-19 Location : elgin scotland
| Subject: Re: Old folks. Tue May 12, 2015 6:50 pm | |
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| | | johnnorm2 Hatchling
Posts : 589 Join date : 2015-03-29 Age : 37 Location : milford haven
| Subject: Re: Old folks. Tue May 12, 2015 8:33 pm | |
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| | | killer Hatchling
Posts : 535 Join date : 2012-11-09 Location : Wollongog Australia
| Subject: Re: Old folks. Tue May 12, 2015 9:23 pm | |
| Lucky for him he didn't lose them on his ship over there ;as they may have waited untill it Docked back home to do the pay out : lol!: |
| | | oldstrain Oldbird
Posts : 16306 Join date : 2011-01-03 Location : the magic roundabout
| Subject: Re: Old folks. Wed May 13, 2015 11:30 am | |
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