Grocery shopping.

Young man stuck in a boring marriage. Aways broke. So he formulated a plan! He took out a very large insurance policy on his wife without her knowledge. Then he went looking for some one to kill her. Finally he found a guy called Artie. Artie wanted $10,000 up front. Young guy said he was broke. Artie asked for a deposit. Reluctantly he settled for the $1 the guy had. Artie followed the guys wife to the local Costco food market. He got her alone and strangled her! Manager came across him so he strangled him also. Guard watched all this on the security camera and called the cops. They arrested Artie before he could leave the store. At the station he confessed everything. Headlines next day?
"Costco! Artie chokes 2 for a dollar."!!

that's a knackered type of joke that hal..........

David wrote:

  that's a knackered type of joke that hal..........

That's what I thought

FlyAwayHome wrote:

David wrote:

  that's a knackered type of joke that hal..........

That's what I thought

You thought wrong Fly Away     unfortunately. Couldn't tell a good joke if my life depended on it etc & I'm really just a grumpy old Bastard I'm   truth be told, sadly .

Knackered wrote:

FlyAwayHome wrote:

David wrote:

  that's a knackered type of joke that hal..........

That's what I thought

You thought wrong Fly Away     unfortunately. Couldn't tell a good joke if my life depended on it etc & I'm really just a grumpy old Bastard I'm   truth be told, sadly .

I take it that free holiday for forum members is off then knackeroo....?

Knackered wrote:

FlyAwayHome wrote:

David wrote:

  that's a knackered type of joke that hal..........

That's what I thought

You thought wrong Fly Away     unfortunately. Couldn't tell a good joke if my life depended on it etc & I'm really just a grumpy old Bastard I'm   truth be told, sadly .

Right, forgot

David wrote:

Knackered wrote:

FlyAwayHome wrote:

David wrote:

  that's a knackered type of joke that hal..........

That's what I thought

You thought wrong Fly Away     unfortunately. Couldn't tell a good joke if my life depended on it etc & I'm really just a grumpy old Bastard I'm   truth be told, sadly .

I take it that free holiday for forum members is off then knackeroo....?  

You got it right their David Except thou for two as such here who I would happily accommodate with pleasure etc & I would even show them both my wifes fairy garden here, before then taking them shark hunting     for a life time experience as such.
*****

Life time ending experience?

halcanada wrote:

Life time ending experience?

guaranteed . Beats counting sheep thou Hal for the excitement factor etc.

Panda walks into café and orders a meal, eats the meal and shoots the waiter on the way out.

Owner shouts hey you, come back you have just shot my waiter.

Pander says, I am a pander look it up, the owner looks it up and it says ; ANIMAL OF ASIAN ORIGIN, EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES.

Regards.

MISTY wrote:

Panda walks into café and orders a meal, eats the meal and shoots the waiter on the way out.

Owner shouts  hey you, come back you have just shot my waiter.

Pander says, I am a pander look it up, the owner looks it up and it says ; ANIMAL OF ASIAN ORIGIN, EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES.

Regards.

LMAO, this cracked me up

Two women in a pub one said to the other I'm thinking of having my arshole bleached this weekend the other one replies won't your husband look funny with blonde hair

markevans wrote:

Two women in a pub one said to the other I'm thinking of having my arshole bleached this weekend the other one replies won't your husband look funny with blonde hair

that was disgustingly funny...........

Good one!!!!!!

Vets just come out with a most important announcement, do not worry about bird flue, because it is tweetable.

Regards.

Another good one!

What did the grape say when it was crushed?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Another good one! Love to see humour on these sights! And jokes not directed only at Knackered, poor soul.

the face on the seal is what I imagine knackeroo looks like, cheeky .........

Must have been bloody big gum trees he was climbing!!

David wrote:

the face on the seal is what I imagine knackeroo looks like, cheeky .........

Could be so but always be wary David I have the nature of that creature that eats seals for breakfast with great enjoyment & has great pleasure in doing it etc .
*****

halcanada wrote:

Another good one! Love to see humour on these sights! And jokes not directed only at Knackered, poor soul.

I agree fully Hal. Just leave poor old knackeroo alone I say or I may crack under pressure & just give every one an experience of human proportions, like no one has ever seen here .

Knackered wrote:

David wrote:

the face on the seal is what I imagine knackeroo looks like, cheeky .........

Could be so but always be wary David I have the nature of that creature that eats seals for breakfast with great enjoyment & has great pleasure in doing it etc .
*****

Death threat if I ever saw one

yep, always got to be wary of an "older type knackeroo" ....