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Two Old Fanciers



Two old Fanciers, Abe and Sol, are sitting in Sol’s loft feeding the pigeons and talking about the races they had flown, and all the narrow wins they had won, which they liked to talk about everyday.

Abe turns to Sol and says, “Do you think there is pigeons racing going on in Heaven?”

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno. But let’s make a deal: if I die first, I’ll come back and tell you if they are racing pigeons in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.”

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting out in the loft, watching his birds and missing Abe, when he hears a voice whisper, “ Sol…Sol…”

Sol responds, “Abe! Is that you?”

“Yes it is, Sol.” whispers Abe’s ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, “SO, is there pigeons races in Heaven?”

“Well,” says Abe,” I’ve got good news and bad news for you Sol.”

“Gimme the good news first,” says Sol.

Abe says,” Well…there is pigeon races in Heaven.”

Sol says, “That’s great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?”

Abe sighs and whispers, “You’re shipping with us Friday Night.”

Baby Pigeon
A mother pigeon and a baby pigeon were going to race together in Old Bird Season.

But baby pigeon said, "I can't make it; I'll get too tired." His mother said, "Don't worry; I'll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine."

The baby started to cry.

"What's wrong?" said the mother.

"I don't want to be pigeon towed!"

A BIG HOLE

Little Tim was outside in the back yard digging a big hole in the corner of the yard. He had been out there for a while really making this hole very large and deep.

The neighbor had been watching him for some time through her kitchen window and decided to go out and find out what was going on.

"Tim, why are you digging such a big hole in the yard?" she asked.

Tim did not even look up but spoke in anger, "Because my pigeon died"

"I am so sorry to hear that Tim" she said. "But why are you digging such a big hole?"

Tim replied, "Because your damn cat is in there too."

A Talking Pigeon



Mr. Don Rice was walking down the street and as he was passing the local pet store, he saw a sign on the window that read “A Talking Pigeon.”

Now, Don had seen a lot of things in his life, but he could not recollect ever hearing a pigeon talk, so he went into the store and looked around and saw this one pigeon perched over in the corner. He walked up to the bird and stood there gazing at it for a moment or two, then asked the bird, “Do you really talk?”

“Well yes, as a matter of fact I do.” Said the pigeon. And the bird tend to go on in a constant chatter that barely gave it time to take breath.

“Yes I talk. Fluently in seven different languages. It was something I picked up while working with the FBI, the CIA and a few other organizations that I cannot tell you about. A number of years ago when I carried a hidden camera under my wing I was released at strategic locations in Russia, China, Iraq, Iran and for a few years over in Korea. I would fly over areas that the CIA wanted pictures of and just seem to pick up the language very easily. There were many times that I had better information to report than the pictures I took would reveal.”

“I was soon used for more Top Secret missions and I was given the code name of Stooly. I was even assigned a few times to the ledges of the White House where I often saw and heard Bill Clinton making love all night long. I may have single handedly started the war on terrorism when I reported that Saddam may have been working on weapons of mass destruction.”

“They retired me when I came back from Houston with information about Enron, I never understood exactly why they took me off duty, but I was trying to tell them that…”

Don had to interrupt the bird to find out how much he was going to be sold for. He walked over to the manger of the store and asked how much the bird cost.

The owner replied, “Ten Bucks.”

“Ten Dollars!” Don cried out. “Why would you sell this bird for such a low price?”
“Because he is a chronic liar and he is not a very good photographer.”

Finer Pigeon Sale





CLASSIFRIED ADS:

Due to the "Lack of Interest" that by birds seem to have about coming back to "My Loft" I have decided to let go of some of my "Finer Birds".

1. AU 02 FBI 006 BB HEN...I paid too much for this birds parents, not to receive something from her for my time of caring and breeding. She was an early hatch and a late comer. Her bloodline is longer than my arm and I have more papers on her than I do my truck. She showed great potential on her first toss, she was 1st out of the crate...now, if you "Finer", please send me anything you might think she's worth.

2. AU 02 FBI 007 BB HEN...This bird is nest mate to #1 and again with the same blood and paper works. However, this hen did show some very good signs of being a good racer. She was always 1st in for the feedings, normally because she was still in the loft,( she appeared to be scared of flying). But, on the first toss (unlike her sister) she was the last one out of the crate. Due to her fear of flying I had to pick the crate up and shake her out of it. But, she did not even circle after she took off, she went directly toward the sun, which was in the opposite direction of the loft, but that was against a strong head wind. She did make it home on the day...then flew another five miles to trap in someone elses loft. Now, I can't catch the bird to take her out training. She hides. If you care to purchase her, just come by some time and "Finer" and she's yours for a nickel, I figure the band is worth that much.

3. AU 99 FBI 4950 BC HEN. This pigeon has never been in the clock in it's life, in fact, it has never been in race time (Traps Good)

4. AU 99 FBI 4951 BC COCK. This hen has been kept for stock, because it has had arthritis since it was young, in my opinion No's 3 & 4 should not be separated. (Good Loft Bird).

5. AU 00 FBI 6990 BC COCK. Bred from No's 1 & 2. This bird has been hand fed since it was a youngster. (Good Home Wanted).

6. AU 98 FBI 3260 DC WF HEN. This bird has been on loan to a friend, pity he didn't keep it longer, best performance, 4th to loft next morning off 50 mile toss. (Pretty Pedigree Paper).

7. AU 02 FBI 1717 BB COCK. This bird has many positions, sometimes it positions itself on top of the door, sometimes on the water trough, and sometimes on the back of the loft. ( This bird is a Gem)

8. AU 00 FBI 3625 RC HEN. This bird is very tame and with lots of patience will learn to fly, must have bottom nest box when paired. (Has Great EyeSign...she has both of them).

9. AU 02 FBI 1202 WHITE. One violet eye, has tendency to fly to the right. Always comes back over, if you wait long enough. (Another Gem)

10. AU 92 FBI 2110 CB COCK...My favorite Cock given to me by my nearest racing partner. He told me the bird would surely breed me some Finer birds. Daddy and Granddaddy to #3, #4, #6, #7, #9 listed above. When he was racing my partner told me that he was 1st on every race he flew. Later I found out that he was only flown in One Bird Derbys and was 1st being listed on the pool sheet (never won money). I think my partner spent more on pools than he did on birds. I gave this cock to my wife and she wouldn't allow me to cull him for years. Now I can let the bird go to anyone who wants to ask my wife for the papers, if you can "Finer".

Pigeon Jokes

I like the jokes Ian

Are you a comedian ???

yes how did you guess , pleased you like them

very good ian

Must say they am good fair play mate

forgot to tell you about this one lads and lasses...last week at the NEHU show at south shields a bloke came up to me and asked if i was bruce lee,s brother, i was well chuffed thinking he was going to say something positive,untill he said

UG-LEE, and that was true i was gutted

seriously ray ? should have took his face off.........................

i had to laugh

Last night, Davey and I were sitting in the living room, and I said to him, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

He got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

He's such a b****rd.

very good amanda like it

i think then again

then again