joke corner

called at paddys house this morning for a cuppa
when i went in i said JESUS paddy these ceilings are high
thats our lasses idea he said

she wanted two rooms knocking into one.

young gypsy girl on the eve of her wedding,says to her mum
im,e scared mum cause i aint had sex yet
listen rosie says her mum.on you,r wedding night he will stick his most prized possession in the place you wee

rosie looks suprised and replies


FXXK OFF MUM, hows he going to get a ford transit in the sink

"Has your wife learned to drive yet, Fred" asked Joe. "Only in an advisory capacity," replies Fred.

When Myrtle finally brought a man home her parents were relieved that this might be the Mr Right that would take her off their hands.But when they took a closer look they took Myrtle aside. " He's not exactly a young man," whispered Mum to her daughter. "He's fat, he's bald and he's pretty old isn't he?" "There's no need to whisper, Mum," said Myrtle, "he's stone deaf too."

A starving asylum seeker is greeted by a good fairy who grants him 3 wishes!!!
"He says i'am hungrey can i have some food"
POOOOW!!!!! A hugh banquet appears!
"He says i want a big house"
POOOOW!!!!! A Mansion with a swimming pool appears!!!!
"He says i want to be british"
POOOOW!!!!! Everything vanishes!!!!!!!
"He says weres it all gone???????"
"The Fairy says your british now your entitled to F**K ALL NOW!!!!!!!

how true ian, how true...............


as you know, a subject that makes my blood boil.......enough said.

yes same here david

dont start me off on a political rant ian...........

pmsl

anymore jokes please

ian wrote:

anymore jokes please

i put some on last week and i think only alex read them, must have been crap eh ............

is that what they were

DAVID wrote:

ian wrote:

anymore jokes please

i put some on last week and i think only alex read them, must have been crap eh ............

nope they werent crap If they slip through the latest topics bit they seem to get lost.

ive got one for you...............IAN DONT TAKE OFFENCE !!!! its a better joke if its someone you know

right, ian walks into a pub with a pig under his arm...........landlord says "get that filthy, stinking thing out of my pub, the last time it was in it shit all over the place" the pig replied "come on landlord, give him another chance"

DAVID wrote:

ive got one for you...............IAN DONT TAKE OFFENCE !!!! its a better joke if its someone you know

right, ian walks into a pub with a pig under his arm...........landlord says "get that filthy, stinking thing out of my pub, the last time it was in it shit all over the place" the pig replied "come on landlord, give him another chance"

spot on david my secrets out

sure it was his pies give me bad guts